Everything Wrong With The LEGO Ninjago Movie In 13 Minutes Or Less
After The LEGO Movie and The LEGO Batman Movie, we expected more from The LEGO Ninjago Movie than 1.5 hours of lame jokes and LEGO retreads. We expected too much, it seems.
Everything Wrong With Girls Trip In 15 Minutes Or Less
A surprise hit in 2017, Girls Trip is actually a pretty funny movie and a good time, except for all the pee jokes. Even fun movies have sins, though.
Everything Wrong With Kingsman: The Golden Circle
The first Kingsman film was a welcome surprise of manic action and fun. The second one is just... a mess.
Everything Wrong With Paddington In 10 Minutes Or Less
In 2014, Paddington was quietly released. Which is unfortunate, since it's pretty awesome. But even awesome family films have sins, as I'm sure you know, so...
Everything Wrong With Bee Movie In 15 Minutes Or Less
During the animation boom of the mid-2000's, Jerry Seinfeld himself concocted a movie idea, wrote the script, and voiced the main character. And somehow, against all odds, that movie ended up being utterly terrible. Here are the sins of Bee Movie.
Everything Wrong With Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
Ugh. This thing has gone on long enough. I say we call it after this one. Here are the sins of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales, and there are a lot of them.
Everything Wrong With The Amityville Horror (2005)
Roughly 25 years after the original came this Ryan Reynolds remake that somehow fails to really add anything new or be much more compelling overall. :(
Everything Wrong With The Amityville Horror (1979)
Once upon a time, they made a third remake of The Amityville Horror. In anticipation of that, we wrote sins scripts for the first two. Then they delayed the new one for, like, years and we just sat on the scripts waiting. Then they dumped that new remake into theaters sneakily for a few days in the Fall of 2017, and we were like... "Sh*t, we can't just waste these scripts." And Christmas week came along and we all had plans and didn't want to write sins, so we dusted off the Amityville stuff! So... there you go.
Everything Wrong With War For The Planet Of The Apes
War for the Planet of the Apes was one of 2017's best action films, despite there being as much scenery & talking as there was action... maybe even more. But hey, even a planet of apes has sins. Therefore...